iselldrugstothecommunity | But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

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But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

It's hard to research things that haven't happened yet, Howard discovers. Rather than hitting the library, like he would have on Stacy, he has to spend a lot of time thinking, sitting around talking to Barbara about every detail he remembers of his family history. Every year that passes by, the memories get a little more obscure, a little less refined, and he starts to panic, thinking that he won't have enough information to track down his family at all soon.

Over endless cups of tea, Barbara asks questions ("do you remember your mother's maiden name? do you know where your father's parents were from before they came to California? do you remember what their professions were?") to try and drag out the useful information, but it ends up being a stray memory of a Christmas dinner that puts the pieces in place.

"My grandma has to be in San Francisco. They had a one year wedding anniversary ornament on the Christmas tree of the Golden Gate Bridge, and I'm pretty sure they got married in 1969."

What they were doing in San Francisco is beyond his knowledge, but it's the closest they have to a shot. He doesn't know what hospitals his parents were born in, or where his paternal grandparents might be now, or even what year his parents are going to meet. It takes a lot of agonizing before he decides to spend all that money he's been saving in a can under the sink on plane tickets for him and Barbara to go there, but when he invites her she agrees that it's important to him, and besides, how often does one get to vacation in America?

So they both have suitcases packed and a promise to be back in ten days, waiting for Ian in the kitchen to come drive them to the airport. Howard's nervous, naturally, because he's not sure how he'll introduce himself to total strangers as their grandkid from the future. But he's come to relax a bit - a bit - over the last few years, and as such he just chews his lip and bounces his leg a bit rather than panics. He even got six hours of sleep last night. It's truly a miracle.

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Barbara awoke slowly like one does after a long, deep sleep. She stretched under the blanket she didn't remember putting over herself, and sat up. The makeup she had been wearing for the last day had smudged a little around her eyes. But she was rested, so it hardly mattered.

"Don't tell me that you've been sitting around this room all along," Barbara asked Howard, "that would have been awfully boring."

"Nah, I went out to the wharf. Brought you something." He gestures to the penny.

"You might want to, uh." He rubs under his eye to gesture where she should wash up. "Or shower all the airplane germs off. Then we can go get breakfast and I can legit welcome you to my home state."

He sounds excited enough by that that the bounce in his leg might be from excitement more than habit or nerves.

Barbara picked up the coin to examine its print. "It's the bridge!" she smiled up at him.

"Why don't I shower and make myself presentable, then we can call Ian to let him know we arrived safely, and then we can go and have breakfast."

"Sure. We have to call him and make sure he fed the cats." And isn't worrying about them, of course. But that he fed the cats, most importantly.

"That, too," she smiled and got up from the bed to collect a few things from her luggage. Barbara also wanted to hear how John was doing, but knew how little Howard cared for the boy.

Once she'd showered, combed her hair, and put on something more fitted to the weather outside, she had to look up just how she would call the United Kingdom. A pamphlet by the telephone was most helpful, and Barbara punched in the numbers before dialing her own number. She gestured that Howard come and sit by her, so that they could share the ear piece.

Howard changes his clothes into a fresh set - he showered while Barbara was sleeping, at least. He sits by the phone and considers singing the Star Spangled Banner once Ian picks up.

"Hello, Chesterton household," a tired Ian said in greeting.

"We made it!" Barbara called down the telephone line at him.

"That's fantastic news! Only took you a day."

"I'm sorry, we'd have come faster except that the airplane stopped to talk to the birds."

"We didn't want you to worry when we crashed in the ocean, so we waited for an ocean liner to rescue us before calling." Howard flicks the penny in his palm. "Did you feed the cats?"

And because he wants to show Barbara he cares, "how's John?"

"Yes, Howard, the cats are fed," Ian sighed and didn't seem to improve in mood at the mention of his son. "John's fine. In fact, he was up just now telling me all about how much he missed the both of you."

"I'm glad to hear it," Barbara grinned, "at least we didn't wake you."

"No, no. You didn't. Did you want to speak with your chatty son?" John always became Barbara's son when he kept Ian from sleeping. Just like he became Ian's son when he was doing something dangerous.

"Please!" Barbara replied eagerly. There was a silence while Ian probably went to fetch him, then a rattling came down the phone line. More silence. Ian could then be heard in the back ground, coaxing John into talking. He babbled a little, nothing intelligible, but Barbara stilled beamed at Howard.

"John, it's Mummy! Are you keeping Daddy awake?" she cooed at the telephone.

Howard freezes a little when he hears the kid's voice on the phone. He's never actually heard John, only seen him from a distance when his late-night jogs 'happen' to take him past the Chesterton household.

He has no idea how a kid who's never seen him can 'miss' him. It creeps him out.

So he plans of letting Barbara do her thing and then asking Ian if he can put the cats on the line. As a joke, of course.

John fell silent, and for another moment, nothing happened until Ian took the phone back.

"Sorry, he was trying to eat it. Have an interesting conversation?" Ian asked.

"Oh, yes, he was telling me about how you're letting him stay up late and eat nothing but sugar."

Howard resists the urge to sarcastically mutter 'charming'. He can't really judge a two year-old for what he puts in his mouth. He doesn't look at Barbara, either; he can't help but feel jealous of how excited she is to hear from her kid.

"Jeez, Ian, even I know how to raise kids better than that."

"I did not!" Ian defensively said down the telephone. Barbara merely laughed.

"We're going to get breakfast," she continued once the short, soft laughter had subsided, "I only wanted to check in and let you know we'd arrived safely. We'll be home in a week or so, I'll call you from the airport and let you know what time we get in. I love you."

Ian mirrored the farewell and hung up. Barbara listened to the dead line for a beat longer, then carefully put the receiver back on its cradle.

"Right. You mentioned breakfast?"

Howard doesn't say goodbye to Ian, and regrets that the moment the phone's put down, but he's not about to do a long distance call to do so. Next time they talk to Ian he well.

"Right! We're going to the wharf!" He claps his hands and grins. "Or we could do Chinatown. What do you feel like?"

"There's a Chinatown in London, so why don't you take me somewhere all-American?" Barbara tried her best American accent, but it even made her cringe with its awfulness.

Howard tries to cover his laughter and fails spectacularly. "Right. Wharf it is. I went there last night when you were sleeping."

He seems strangely energized today, in a way that's very uncharacteristic for him. Maybe it's the fact that he's surrounded by the sounds of voices that sound like his, Californian English, even if from a slightly different time. Maybe it's just sleep deprivation. Regardless, he looks more excited about things than he's been since he was helping plan Barbara's wedding.

"We can get chowder in sourdough bowls, we can see the seals, we can walk across the bridge." He'll pass on Alcatraz, thanks. "And anything you want to do, too."

"We can do all of those things." As Barbara saw it, this was Howard's holiday. She would do anything he wanted to do. Even if they stood entirely still until Howard came up with something.

They head down to the wharf in a cable car. Howard hangs a little bit outside it, taking in the sea air. At the very least, all the tourism is going to keep him from thinking too hard about meeting his grandparents tomorrow - he plans on staking out the bridge all day, waiting to see them.

When they get to the wharf, he buys them both chowder bowls, and they sit on the pier watching the seals while they eat them. He's chatty, explaining all the things that are different than the few memories of this place from his childhood. The 70's are a different time than the 2000's.

"I think this is good, I mean, this trip." He sounds a bit like he's convincing himself of this until he believes it. He kicks a small piece of trash into the water and finishes off his bread bowl. "For me. I mean, for us, since it's been a while since we done anything together. I mean, that's my fault, but."

He shrugs and stares out at Alcatraz.

"It's good for different reasons," Barbara replied, glancing at the side of his head. She looked out again at the water, and how it stretched all the way out to the horizon. "It's good that you're back here, back home. You can't tell me that England is somewhere you'd call home. Also it's good for us because we haven't spent time together for quite a while, no matter who is at fault.

"I'm happy that we're doing this."

"No, it's not. I keep wanting to call it home and it's just not." San Francisco isn't either, but it feels more similar - like new clothing in the right size, even if it isn't worn in yet. "I don't know what it is, if it's the accents or the customs or if it's just something else."

He reaches over and touches her arm, just to physically establish the connection. He knows it can't be easy having an errant kid around, or anyone you care about like that. And he feels like he can snap back into place with Ian over just a few hours of sitting around building things or fixing the car, but his bond with Barbara has always been much deeper.

"Would it kill you if I moved back here, in the long run?"

Her hand reached out to cover his, and she smiled at him. "I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't miss you terribly, but I understand. And there's very little stopping us from visiting once a year or so.

"You're technically a grown man, and you can make your own decisions. If you want to live here, you can. We'll work everything out."

He doesn't really return the smile. "I just don't really know if I want to be here or if I don't really want to be anywhere, if that makes sense. Like I'm just running away looking for something that fits better. But I can always come back, right?"

He runs a hand over his hair. "I'd miss you too. And the time zone differences would mean I'd have to call you before lunch if I ever wanted to talk to you."

"You can always come back whenever you want. Whether you're coming back to here, to coming back to England. You're welcome to do so, and Ian and I will help in anyway we can. You know that." She felt the need to remind him, even though it was something she had always stated.

"At least there's the possibility to calling one another. Would be worse if there wasn't."

"Someone has to be around to remind you how lucky you are to have a normal kid." He's joking, but there's a grain of seriousness there. He's both hoping and dreading that John might end up being a nutter too. Hoping because it would make him not alone, dreading because he seriously wouldn't wish that on Barbara - he's sure at least a few gray hairs are his fault.

And he can always do with the reminder. To tell the truth, it's a terrifying idea, the one of moving so far away from Ian and Barbara that he can't just pedal over there in the middle of the night to make sure they're still there. He doesn't spy on them often anymore, partially because he's finally realized that's kind of weird, but he takes comfort knowing that he can. He can check on them, even if he doesn't mean to.

"In my day we have email. And cell phones," he pouts. He points at the bridge. "That's where we're waiting tomorrow."

Although Barbara knew what 'email' was, and had a vague idea of what a 'cell phone' was, she didn't question it. Instead she looked to the bridge.

"All you'll need to do is give me the signal and I'll leave you to it when you see them."

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