iselldrugstothecommunity | But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

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But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

It's hard to research things that haven't happened yet, Howard discovers. Rather than hitting the library, like he would have on Stacy, he has to spend a lot of time thinking, sitting around talking to Barbara about every detail he remembers of his family history. Every year that passes by, the memories get a little more obscure, a little less refined, and he starts to panic, thinking that he won't have enough information to track down his family at all soon.

Over endless cups of tea, Barbara asks questions ("do you remember your mother's maiden name? do you know where your father's parents were from before they came to California? do you remember what their professions were?") to try and drag out the useful information, but it ends up being a stray memory of a Christmas dinner that puts the pieces in place.

"My grandma has to be in San Francisco. They had a one year wedding anniversary ornament on the Christmas tree of the Golden Gate Bridge, and I'm pretty sure they got married in 1969."

What they were doing in San Francisco is beyond his knowledge, but it's the closest they have to a shot. He doesn't know what hospitals his parents were born in, or where his paternal grandparents might be now, or even what year his parents are going to meet. It takes a lot of agonizing before he decides to spend all that money he's been saving in a can under the sink on plane tickets for him and Barbara to go there, but when he invites her she agrees that it's important to him, and besides, how often does one get to vacation in America?

So they both have suitcases packed and a promise to be back in ten days, waiting for Ian in the kitchen to come drive them to the airport. Howard's nervous, naturally, because he's not sure how he'll introduce himself to total strangers as their grandkid from the future. But he's come to relax a bit - a bit - over the last few years, and as such he just chews his lip and bounces his leg a bit rather than panics. He even got six hours of sleep last night. It's truly a miracle.

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"I don't think I even remember anything that far back." He tries to think. It seems like a lot of his life before his teenage years are out of focus, and he wonders if he loses more and more of the detail each year. "No, I don't think so. They lived up in Sacramento, so we only went up to see them for holidays, mostly. And I totally don't cheat at cards anymore."

He grins. That's a joke. He's an incorrigible cheater.

Barbara grinned back. She remembered that one time they played Black Jack. It certainly seemed like a good idea at the time, and having been so pregnant at the time, she was hardly going to take a stroll around the neighbourhood for the evening.

Ian was still sore about his losses.

An announcement rang out, calling passengers to board their plane. "I think that's us," Barbara said and got up from the seat to put their rubbish in the bin.

"Right." Howard gets his suitcase and Barbara's and waddles his way over to the gate. The line isn't long, and is progressing fairly quickly. He smiles at her. "Scared yet?"

Of the great many things that scare Howard, travel by plane, surprisingly, isn't really one of them.

"Not yet," she replied and tried to take back her bag, which she was completely capable of carrying.

Howard tugs it back. "I need the workout." Not that carrying the extra suitcase, which doesn't really have anything heavy in it, is much of a 'workout'.

Their tickets are taken and they're directed into the airplane. The inside of the airplane is warm and clean-feeling. They're self-chosen seats, so Howard looks to Barbara to decide which one they should take. "You want aisle or window?"

"Why don't you take the aisle?" she offered. "Then when you get tired of sitting for so long, it'll be easier for you to get up and move."

Barbara was still under the impression that Howard still fidgeted and moved a lot despite the extra pound or two.

"Sounds good to me." He is, unfortunately, too short to really be much use getting the suitcases in the overhead compartment. Whomever designed the compartments clearly meant them for average-sized adult men.

Barbara would be right. He does still fidget and get restless, and still goes for long runs every morning. Weight gain's just an unfortunate effect of eating several thousand unnecessary calories a day, just because they're there.

"You're allowed to sleep on the plane too, you know. You don't have to entertain me all the way across the Atlantic." He pauses. "I mean, you can tell me a little about John. I don't really mind hearing about him."

As Barbara heard that, she was sitting in her seat since their bags were safely away, and she beamed up at Howard.

"Are you sure?" she asked, "You really wouldn't mind?"

"Really. I do actually, you know, care what goes on in your life." Which is why he spies and keeps an eye on things. Just because he doesn't like being around children doesn't mean he doesn't care that Barbara loves hers.

He takes his seat and leans over Barbara's seat slightly so he can also see out the window. That's the best part of riding a plane.

Window or no window, Barbara reached for her purse where she kept a couple of pictures.

"He's talking now," she said with quiet excitement as she dug around in her bag, "not complete sentences, mind, just key words. Sometimes he'll string a few together but not like we do. And he loves to pull out the pots and pans when we're not looking -- here."

The two pictures in her purse were small and simple; the first of which was taken a few days after John was born. He was in Ian's arms half asleep. The grin Ian wore was certainly that of a proud father. Barbara's second picture was just of John surrounded by pots and pans. He wore a grin that someone might have said belong to both Ian and Barbara. John's eyes were of the same blue that Ian's were made out of, and his thick hair was clearly inherited from Barbara.

"The pots and pans? Is he trying to be a drummer? Because I could teach him a thing or two, someday." It's strange to talk about this as if it's something that someday will happen, meeting John. As if there's nothing weird about Howard estranging himself, as if it hasn't happened at all.

The pilot announces that they'll be departing shortly.

Howard takes the pictures and looks at them. "He looks just like you." It's not envy in Howard's voice as he observes that, but something just a little sad.

"What was his first word?"

Barbara smiled. "Mum" Being a stay at home mother for the most part had its perks. But the sadness in Howard's tone hadn't been missed, and her hand went to his knee. "He'll love you when he meets you."

"Mine was 'cow'." Howard sounds a little surprised. "Why do you think that?"

"Because we talk about our Uncle Howard, and how he helped Mummy and Daddy a lot - Ian insists on using child friendly versions of our adventures as bedtime stories."

"Killer robots are totally child-friendly!" Howard raises an eyebrow. "You know, the less sanitized versions could prepare him better for the real world."

"I don't mind. So long as it isn't scaring John, or making him think that the world could be invaded at any moment, I don't see the harm," she said simply. "And I'm sure that John sees it as nothing more than good fun."

"The world could be invaded at any moment, though. A little fear is healthy." He pauses, then adds. "I mean, you don't have to be a basketcase like me, that's not what I'm saying, but isn't it better to prepare him?"

Two years old isn't too young for that, by Howard's reckoning.

Barbara shrugged. It wasn't what she believed. She knew that the world would be invaded in 2050, but that also could have changed since Stacey.

"So long as he isn't terribly frightened," was her reply.

He doesn't appear to be making any headway, so he drops it. It's her kid, he guesses.

"What's he like? I mean, what do you think he's going to grow up to be like?"

"I'm not sure what he'll grow up to be like." She looked up at the ceiling of the airplane as she thought about it. "He's very much like Ian - stubborn and curious. He injures himself daily because he insists on doing everything himself, so he also has his father's confidence. I can only hope that he grows up to be just as thoughtful, open-minded and smart as Ian. I'd hate for him to have all that fearlessness and confidence, and no common sense."

"Curious is good. I'm not sure you can be curious and not be open-minded." Then again, Howard's a curious sort and he can be pretty judgmental. "Is he anything like you?"

"I'm sure he is. Ian tells me that he pouts like I do, but he's wrong because I don't pout." Barbara pulled a face for a beat before giggling. "You'll have to meet him and tell me yourself."

"Yeah, um..." Howard fidgets and presses his lips together. "Give me a few years on that? It's still..."

He shrugs. Maybe when John's old enough to talk and be left alone without supervision for half an hour.

Barbara nodded. "Of course. Take as much time as you'd like."

"I'll be ready someday," he promises, then leans back as the captain starts making announcements and the plane starts to move.

"You ready now?"

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