iselldrugstothecommunity | But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

Current Music: IAMX - "Spit It Out"

Entry tags:

But Time Takes Time, You Know [Musebox]

It's hard to research things that haven't happened yet, Howard discovers. Rather than hitting the library, like he would have on Stacy, he has to spend a lot of time thinking, sitting around talking to Barbara about every detail he remembers of his family history. Every year that passes by, the memories get a little more obscure, a little less refined, and he starts to panic, thinking that he won't have enough information to track down his family at all soon.

Over endless cups of tea, Barbara asks questions ("do you remember your mother's maiden name? do you know where your father's parents were from before they came to California? do you remember what their professions were?") to try and drag out the useful information, but it ends up being a stray memory of a Christmas dinner that puts the pieces in place.

"My grandma has to be in San Francisco. They had a one year wedding anniversary ornament on the Christmas tree of the Golden Gate Bridge, and I'm pretty sure they got married in 1969."

What they were doing in San Francisco is beyond his knowledge, but it's the closest they have to a shot. He doesn't know what hospitals his parents were born in, or where his paternal grandparents might be now, or even what year his parents are going to meet. It takes a lot of agonizing before he decides to spend all that money he's been saving in a can under the sink on plane tickets for him and Barbara to go there, but when he invites her she agrees that it's important to him, and besides, how often does one get to vacation in America?

So they both have suitcases packed and a promise to be back in ten days, waiting for Ian in the kitchen to come drive them to the airport. Howard's nervous, naturally, because he's not sure how he'll introduce himself to total strangers as their grandkid from the future. But he's come to relax a bit - a bit - over the last few years, and as such he just chews his lip and bounces his leg a bit rather than panics. He even got six hours of sleep last night. It's truly a miracle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Jetlagged, tired, sore...we're going to be quite a few things after sitting down for a day."

Ian managed to beat Barbara to her bag and picked it up for her. To Barbara it felt like he was trying to be on his best behaviour so that her last memory of him was something positive. She smiled at the idea.

"At least the hotel isn't terribly far from the airport. That way we won't have to wait long before we can have a hot shower, a cup of tea, and a nap."

"I hear it was even worse in my time. Like, TSA body scanners that would take pictures of you naked and pat-downs and stuff. I wouldn't know, I guess, never was on a plane before the FAYZ."

Howard's kind of weirded out by the fact that he's in an era where people dress up to go on the plane. Some of the women walking into the airport are wearing very nice sun dresses, and the attendants are all perfectly coiffed. He feels a bit shabby in his beat-up jacket and jeans.

"Okay, Teach." He waves at Ian. "Smell you later."

Ian waved back once Barbara's bag was at her feet, then enveloped his wife in his arms for a goodbye.

Barbara joined up with Howard a few minutes after, a few tears lined her eyes but they didn't fall. She smiled at Howard instead.

"This is very exciting," she told him. "I haven't been in an airport before."

Honestly, the only time Howard's been on a plane was to and from Woodstock (he correctly predicted that Ian would never forgive himself if they didn't go). Howard doesn't really remember enjoying the flight itself and thinks he might have slept the entire way back.

He's surprised by Barbara's tears, though, as they head into the airport. "Jeez, we're only going to be gone like a week. It's okay."

"Yes, I know," she chuckles, carefully wiping under her eyes with a finger. "But we haven't been apart in so very long. Not like this, anyway." And it was true, too. Not since before Stacey. But she'd be fine, what could possibly go wrong in America anyway?

They approached the staff, had their bags weighed, their tickets checked and a few conversational questions asked.

Where are you going?

Oh, America. To see family?

Where do they live?

Are they excited that you're visiting after all these years?

Each question was politely dodged, and both Barbara and Howard managed to make it to the lounge without rousing any unwanted suspicion. They still had a two hour wait, so Barbara asked: "Would you like any tea or coffee? Or anything stronger?"

You're traveling with Howard, Barbara. Last time you went on vacation you got kidnapped by Torchwood.

"Can I get both? I think I need both." He checks over their bags for the umpteenth time, but otherwise he isn't looking too terribly nervous (compared to how he could look). He and Barbara are getting the usual strange looks they do whenever they go out together, but he's gotten much better at ignoring them.

"You're not scared about the airplane?"

"Not yet," she said as she stood with her purse in hand, "ask me again just before we take off. I won't be a moment."

Barbara left to find them both a cups of tea and coffee, and was soon swallowed by the crowds mingling about the airport.

Howard watches their bags and waits, trying not to think too hard about what's ahead of them. He doesn't want to get his hopes up - he knows that if someone came up to him and introduced themselves as their future grandkid, he'd probably freak out, strangeness of his day-to-day life notwithstanding. And even if he forms a connection with them, what will it matter? He'll still live in England.

So instead he counts in his head, hums a snatch of Whole Lotta Love to himself, and he's drumming out the beat on his thigh when Barbara returns.

The woman serving at the cafe had given Barbara a cardboard contraption to hold their tea and Howard's coffee, plus the two chocolate biscuits she'd bought to go with them.

"I've got extra sugar," she said as she sat, and dug about in her pocket for the four extra sachets she'd managed to pick up for Howard. "Is that enough? I'm sorry I couldn't remember as well as I used to," especially as she hadn't made Howard a cup of tea or coffee in so very long.

Howard splits the sugar evenly between the tea and the coffee, happy as always for the calories rather than the taste. "Four's perfect." He's truly touched that she remembers that he always wants extra sugar at all, and it's clear in his voice.

"I haven't been gone that long, you know. Only like, two years. Did you start missing me yet?" He knows Barbara misses him, but it's good to hear it, sometimes. Even when he spent a while intentionally keeping his distance, that didn't mean he didn't honestly want to come home to them, every day. He just felt it was better for everyone if he didn't.

"Of course I missed you," she grinned because how could she not miss Howard? He was her son long before John had been thought of. "And you know you're always welcome home."

"Yeah, I know." He doesn't feel welcome as long as John's around, but he knows he can't just expect them to get rid of their kid whenever he wants to come by. "But I guess most people my age live on their own anyway. It's just kind of weird, you know, waking up every night and wanting to be somewhere else."

He's gotten so much better over the years that it isn't stressful at all to wait for the coffee and tea to cool a bit before drinking them - in sips, rather than hungry gulps.

Barbara patted his knee. She wanted him at the house but there was no point in forcing him, or trying to convince him. He'd come when he was ready, and not before.

"Well, you know our door is always open for you."

"Just you wait. I'll move in with you when I'm 45." He takes a sip of coffee. "And have no less than twenty-seven cats."

"We'll be old and incapable of adventures by then. You might like living with us even more," she grinned back.

"The Doctor's probably going to come and try to drag you around anyway." He fakes a pout. "I wonder if I'll get bored by then, of like, a normal life and all."

"Maybe," she replied, "I can't imagine that you would, though. You've lived through enough adventure - and so have we, mind."

"Yeah. I like it boring, when the most interesting thing that happens is the water heater going out." And traveling across the globe to stalk your future grandparents. That's totally normal. "I mean, it's still not...average, I guess. But that might just be me, or us, or I don't know. I don't think you can ever totally go back to average, you know?"

He finishes the coffee and turns his attention to the tea. "Anyway, I'm doing okay these last few weeks. You don't have to worry about me."

Barbara would always worry about Howard. It was her instinct. "Well, let's hope that you keep going okay," she said and picked up one of the biscuits. "It makes me happy to think that you've come so far."

He doesn't tell her he still has good stretches and awful stretches. He's sure she knows, just because of the way he sometimes stops calling for weeks or seems less present than unusual. There's just nothing that can really be done about it - he's already taken up her and Ian's offer to see a shrink, and the appointments remain a background fixture in his life.

"Yeah?" He takes a cookie too. "I mean. I don't know where I would be if you guys hadn't swooped in. Pretty sure I wouldn't be okay living alone."

Barbara smiled and shrugged. "You're a pleasure to have around. I was hardly going to say goodbye to you and Stacey. That would have just been far too difficult."

Of course she's forgetting about the arguments and the stealing, and the psychotic episodes which meant there were cans of food in the couch all the time, and a knife always by his side.

"I don't know, I don't really miss Stacy much. She was kind of condescending." He misses his friends on Stacy. It's always easier to socialize with other people who've also lived through bizarre things, rather than live a lie, like he does with his coworkers. He's gotten a little better at being around strangers, although he still lacks the close friendships he had on the ship.

"Did you know your grandparents?" Since in a way, he'll just be meeting his. He remembers them in their sixties, not in their twenties.

"For a time," she sighed and crossed her legs before taking another bite from the biscuit. "They died before the war. My grandmother never worked a day in her life, which was common in her time, and my grandfather was a carpenter. My mother still has a lot of the furniture he made."

Howard secretly hates it whenever he feels sympathy for Joan. "How old were you?"

He takes a bite of cookie. "I liked - like-" He's not sure what tense to use talking about people who are still alive. "Liked mine. My cousins used to beat me up, so I'd hang out with my grandma so they'd leave me alone. She taught me how to cheat at card games, but I wasn't allowed to tell on her because she was a little old lady and nobody likes a snitch."

"Oh, I was about five or six. Young enough in any case." Barbara smiled with nostalgia. "Your grandmother sounds rather sweet. Did she teach you anything else?"

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

awww Barbara

She'll be fine :)

Re: She'll be fine :)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject